Stephen said to get you a gnome trap
So it could defend your lawn
Lauren said it would be really cool to use
Your lyrics in a song
Adriana said sea monkeys
Or maybe a chainsaw
Whit thought it’d be really cool to
Give you a pig in a jar

A life sized voodoo doll
And a bald cat for licking
All my friends made a list
Told me you’d want these gifts

It’s Christmas what should I buy you
It’s Christmas what will I get you
I asked all of my messed-up friends
They gave me the best suggestions Oh yeah

Schwann said to get a giraffe named peanut
Jon said a bass and a strap
Chris said to get 12 monkeys as Santa
Doing the monster mash
Susan said a chocolate pudding pedicure
Or maybe a brain transplant
Thom suggested body paint and some whipped cream
Is that too much to ask

A bottle of whiskey
Or some wasabi dried peas
All my friends made a list
Told me you’d want these gifts

Who am I kidding
What do they know
I should just wrap myself up in a big red bow

A ninja bunny hat
A picture signed by Joan Jett
All my friends made a list
Told me you’d want these gifts